2021 & 21st century

The beginning of a new decade. When we all thought of witnessing technological advancements that could probably mimic and replace the whole natural processes we rely on, a tiny organism came to remind us why coexistence with nature matters more. I still stand by the fact that even a pandemic cannot snatch away tiny memorable moments be it good or bad that fleet by us in a year. Join along to read about my 2021 which can inspire you to reminisce, rejoice and probably appreciate those tiny moments in your 2021 as well. Bonus: Scroll to very end of this blog to check out the movies, series, books and places that I experienced in 2021. 

A new decade begins

January 2021

While the media was saying "Five... Four... Three... Two... One... Happy New year!!" at midnight. All were thinking finally new year, new world, no more Coronavirus hangover. We all got it wrong. How naive have we become to think that everything in this universe revolves around humans and their inventions especially a calendar with a language that makes no sense to rest of the biota of this world. As if the virus can understand what new year means. Hope is a dangerous weapon we often use against logic. I guess the virus itself may not know why it came into existence and what all butterfly effect it bought along to the creatures unknown to it. I am not pitying Covid, just the mere fact the more you know the more confusing morals and ethics of this world becomes in the viewpoint of natural ecosystem and one's true purpose of existence itself.

I wish I had only the above to say for what has happened on the first day of my Jan 2021. But I witnessed two surprises, a pleasant one and a morbid one. I woke up to an unusual bird sound amidst the usual caws of the crows which are abundantly present in my neighbourhood for some reason. I went out with my half-awake state to see where is the sound coming from. Was it a radio tune? Was it YouTube Ad? Was it a phone ringtone? Was it a TV Commercial jingle? None, it was an actual bird. A sky-blue lovebird. All alone, hopping from one side of the gate to the other side. Even though I am afraid of birds, watching this one was intriguing.

The pleasant surprise

Then the day was followed by knowing the news about the unknown guy living upstairs at our home died. No idea how he died. Was it natural death or murder? Felt like a conspiracy. A sudden change in atmosphere. Some random men who looked rugged that I assume knew the old dead guy came in and did very bare minimum funeral arrangements in few minutes. A colourful tent, few plastic chairs and a dead body near our home entrance and the road. One by one guarded the dead body for a few hours as if they were awaiting to know who will come to see this dead guy. No one came. Just mere spectators on the road passing by the dead body. I had enough of it, went inside saw a film, listened to music, took a bath, had lunch and yet there was this irking thought lingering in my mind like paranoia. So many 'Whys' clouded my head. Why I have no idea who these people are and why this anonymous dead guy who lived upstairs was dead exactly on Jan 1 and why the arrangements were made on time as if it was planned ahead. No one came to see the dead body, after a while they took it in a car, dismantled the arrangements and I never saw them again. To this day I am clueless about this morbid incident. It made me remember my fear that one day there would be no one who will miss me when I die. Just like that dead body I witnessed.

The funeral

First expedition of the year was visit to a place I always wanted to explore but it had complicated visitation rules that I never went ahead. In one of the NGOs, I was volunteering with online shared that our offline meet up is a visit to Adyar Eco Park. And that's it I had to go. 1 year of pandemic taught me that life is beyond living under the fear of getting covid. But precaution is better than cure so took my sanitiser, mask and social distancing along for this outing. I was so eager I forgot there was less traffic after so many lockdowns and WFH's. I reached the place soon. Way soon that the gate of the park was closed and none of the volunteer people reached yet. I waited for a while in the drizzling rain, and occasionally checking my WhatsApp to make sure the meet up was not cancelled. 

Reached soon

Raincoat times

Spotted a snail

Watching snails while waiting

The park watchmen took pity on me waiting on the roadside
 and let me inside the park before opening hours

The watchman kept rice for mongooses to eat
Quite a lunch buddy

Broken pieces of art on the walkway

Entrance

Signage

Factoids

Stone art

Banyan tree

Lake

Reflections on the Lake

Semiaquatic plants

Sky

Brief rest after all that walking

By now I was seeing them everywhere and
crushed a few at the walkway by mistake

Fascinating signage that shows
direction for "Appropriate Technology"

Almost nearing the exit

No, the tortoises on the rocks are not real
Manmade things at manmade "nature" park

That's all. A walk to remember. Rainy times but turns out to be the best time for visiting this park. Glad I got to visit it. And back to office routine happened. 

My phone was getting storage issues. I started clearing pictures, videos and other files. It still was troublesome. Finally caught hold of the problem that made my phone act like as if it got a stroke. It was an app called WhatsApp. Filled with so many read messages piling the little storage available that it made my phone go awry. Suddenly, I discover my phone number was part of over 80 WhatsApp groups out of which 80% groups became redundant to me. If you have WhatsApp and found your phone to be lagging, this is the sign to star important messages and click clear chats option. The best digital declutter I have ever done. 

I got my first 20 rupee note

Rain droplets on houseplants

Drawing Sikku Kolams (Tamil) or
Chukkala Muggulu (Telugu) to relax

Shades of home plants

Sometimes dead yet nourishes the soil

Sometimes inedible yet nourishes the soul

My dad was giving me a garden tour
I am pretty sure plants are his first child

Devil's Ivy with palm size leaves

While watering the plants found
something shiny flying around

It was a jewel bug
Looks even more enchanting when seen in real

Seven leafed plant

Flower that looked like a star

Pongal (Tamil) / Sankranthi (Telugu) times
Photobomb credits: My foot

I made myself a snack
Boiled potato + onion + salt + spices + sev

And tried cooking pepper mushroom
My parents said making curry is better than sauté as it doesn't shrink the mushrooms
but it's okay to try different things or recipes when you feel like it 

My eldest maternal aunt gifted us this picture of Hindu goddess
Her way of sharing care in this form reminded me of the quote:
"It's not the gift, but the thought that counts"

Catching up with bamboo and sunshine

One of the best things happened to me in my whole life is meeting amazing friends during my undergraduate college studies. I call them my college besties then and now, but the impact they have on me is immeasurable. I wouldn't say they were there during my highs and lows like the besties they shown in films, books and pop culture. But when we meet the whole place lights up and the vibe it creates is euphoric. After college our paths differed, we pursued different things and it led us to rarely meet. We often joke that we only meet when one of our collegemates marry and their marriage reception becomes our rendezvous. What I didn't anticipate was that one could be my bestie in near future. A marriage invite from one such bestie came to me in private message. She didn't invite many people because large gatherings were not allowed due to covid restrictions. It took me a while to realise she is getting married, some sense of time moving so quick and all this happening in a confidential manner. I always had this unrealistic idea of bachelorette travel trip before each of us get married. Some things better to remain a dream, I guess. Next worrisome thought was my gang of besties won't be able to attend this event as they were busy, out of station and Covid scare. 

The about to marry girl, was a core bestie of mine and I didn't want to miss the chance of being there. I have so many memories flooding my mind while thinking about what to gift her. Then started seeing our old pictures together. Memories of us in our Bharatanatyam attire, movie time, college trips and other shenanigans came up. I made slideshow out of it and gave that as a wedding gift. During college times, everyone saw her as the most beautiful girl. So beautiful, her name even means full moon. As her bestie, now I know she is kind, funny and witty too. Back then, I had a misconception that pretty people can be presumptuous. An incident kind of broke that thought of mine after I met her. Since schooling, I had a habit of acting like sleeping on bench/ desk when I feel lonely or sad or out of place. I did the same on my first day of college, as everyone there were more pretty, fashionable and were constantly talking in English. I felt like an outcast, it was intimidating and to cope I did what I knew was the best. Act like I am resting. I hear a voice saying 'Hey' which sounded like directed to me, then felt a hand tap on my shoulder. Followed by another 'Hey, why are you sleeping? Talk to us'. I broke my slumber act to respond to her. Rest was history. That's all it took me to feel less alone, know pretty people can be kind and have a bond that can last over a decade. 

Last slide of the wedding gift 
Out of guilt for being too frugal, I did gift her a tangible item
but I still consider this version more heartfelt

The evening arrived
Dressed up to attend the wedding reception on my own

Reached the wedding venue

When alone, resting replaced with
taking pictures of whatever was around

Waiting in the queue to meet her there

Remember my phone was acting up?
I rarely take pictures of myself and when I did that day it took half blank selfie
Not a social media filter, just my phone attempting to be a creative director I didn't ask for

Entering the next step for a wedding guest
The dining experience

First came the Jalebi
(Not the song, actual Indian sweet)

Then all of a sudden, many more food items were added
My famous Tamil dialogue at wedding food area is 'Podhum' which means 'enough'
If you don't say this, they will serve you heap of food items that is enough to feed 10 people

Then came the Rasagulla

And some fruits
Dragon fruit is not as tasty as it looks

Miniature of wedding rituals

The wedding visit was over. I did feel awkward, alone and out of place. Mostly because the place looked deserted not like a typical Indian wedding filled with people and chatter. Along with the guilt that I never was able to be a bridesmaid and help her with wedding arrangements. All those inquisitive stares from uncles and aunties as if who is this person, we have no idea about was not easy on a neurodivergent introvert like me. It was super unusual. My brother even condoned me about going to this event all alone at night of no use other than taking a picture with the bride and eat different dinner instead of being at the comfort of our home. Nevertheless, I kept up my word. I am proud of the Sunayana I have become. To visit a wedding reception all alone where you know no one else apart from the bride is surreal. Ticking this bucket list, I never knew that could exist. Maybe it was my yearning to meet my happy people again, the next day morning at her wedding ceremony some of my best buddies came but I was at office. At last minute by impulse, I called them asking if they are still there, spoke with my boss about it and took half day leave from work to visit them. I am glad I got to see them again. Sometimes we have the power to fulfil the wishes we yearn for.

I made Tisane to combat insomnia
Fancy term for herb infused warm water

Being alone is scary for all my family members I guess
My dad requested me to accompany him at his acquaintance's baby naming ceremony at a Church
By now I became pro at being at celebratory places where no one knows me

I tried making a potato snack
but it turned out to be potato soup

Harvesting garden veggies

Poetic musings

Jan 2021 finally ended. What a turmoil of a month to begin the year with I thought. 

February 2021

I dreaded having so many online meetings

Spring began
Admiring the Inchplant leaves

Saw different shade of Mango leaves

Bought Shawarma on my own
This is huge deal because I rarely get the intent to spend
even when it comes to hunger

Sunsets

Stroll at a park
Needed break from routine

New blooms at home

Fascinating shade of Chlorophyll

Sky and the three plants
Our's (Bamboo), Neighbour's (Wilted) and a stray one (Sacred fig)

I went for another volunteer meet up

Reached too early I was accompanied
by this crow that hopped a lot

They gave us a random painting by the kids as a giveaway

Growing Tomato plant

Nutrition deficit Moringa leaves

Blooms of rose

Flowers of Euphorbia geroldii

Flipping through nostalgia
Things I water-coloured as a kid: 
Green lady, blue insect and golden jellyfish

Scribbles on the last page of my college books

My office diary has a quote on each day as in each page at the bottom corner of the paper. I was intrigued and started an Instagram story. I asked people to share a date and I will be sharing a quote it has on that day. Surprisingly people are curious to know just like me. In the end of this silly quest, I read 30 quotes in a day. 

I noted the pattern of dates with a highlighter
It looked random yet pretty

Attended a random online workshop
on creative thinking

Was volunteering as Eco-mentor
Brainstormed amazing ideas with the kids
to tackle environmental issues

My phone wallpaper changed on its own into a planet

I was not able to change it at all, suddenly pondered about planets and astrology

I bought a blue bath towel online. It was my first personal purchase and was bit happy wappy that I spent on something solely for myself. When it arrived, I used it. But I didn't know you were supposed to wash any cloth item before using directly. The blue dye stuck on my skin and made my face look like a Smurf for a while.

March 2021

Lush Indian almond tree at my office 

Made an Origami Turtle

On flipside it looked like an insect

Then added pair of purple eyes

Then scribbled to add illusion of a shell

Family outing to Elliot's beach
Chilled Jigarthanda during summer is bliss

Enroute to Ashtalakshmi temple

Near this temple the beach is not subjected to gentrification
It's filled with local shops with low-cost items and food

I like the fact this temple has 1st floor
that is open for common visitors

The first-floor view of the beach
from the temple

Temple gopuram depicting the
mythological story: Samudra manthana

Masked mom and me

This temple visitor all healthy
because of the Prasadham

Some trees lost the battle with
scorching Chennai summer

There was a memorial event
for Indian army martyrs at the beach

Mom and dad
followed by the shadows of
their daughter and son

Steps witnessed by the sand

Blurred moment
I wanted to take a proper picture but
my phone had other ideas and made it into bokeh mode

Bubbles

Scintillating sunset at the office

After one year of covid lifestyle, vaccines were available to jab for common people. But there was a tiny glitch in the system. Only people who were above 45+ years of age or with serious ailments were given the permission to jab. This way there won't be any vaccine shortage and critical people get vaccinated asap. Good on paper but on reality many of us irrespective of age, health status and all wanted to get vaccinated and this wait on roll call was excruciating to know vaccines are available but not for all of us who are eager to get vaccinated. Fortunately, my workplace arranged for all the staff to get vaccinated on special permission since we were not working remotely. 

The hospital had this at reception display
Eerie yet fascinating to observe

Vaccination payment was made and we waited for our turn to get injected. The nurse took blood pressure reading for everyone, mine was at 125. It is not high BP but not normal either. Must be the jitters of being the first person in my known circle to be vaccinated and there is a chance to get allergic reaction and die. Also, the effect of watching documentaries related to human trails. We received an SMS saying dose one is completed and were able to download vaccination certificate online. The next day we the co-workers shared about our body's reaction to the vaccine symptoms. Few hours after the injection, we all felt bit dizzy with body aches and fever. I particularly had very high fever and lost sleep. 

I typed this out and wanted to share on social media
then didn't share as I was cognizant of my privilege

Saw this unusual vintage machine at office
It's used to emboss particular pattern or logo on paper

Upsides of sharing research on Internet

Went to local post office and met a kitten
Waiting time companion

Took a bus ride after a long time to
volunteer for a NGO's ceremony

Packed gifts to the students who graduated
with a college degree under the NGO's scholarship

Volunteered for a session about
financial literacy to women

New road work because elections were nearing

Mom started to have constant ringing sensation in her ear, got medicines but we were worried. Gradually she showed symptoms of an illness we all as a society seriously don't acknowledge about. She started talking and responding to walls, staring at the ceiling for prolonged hours, mismatching facts, sleepless nights, spurts of anger for no reason, sharing delusional thoughts, felt someone or something is trying to harm our family, felt exhausted and alarmed to live. I was not able to grasp the reality of my own mom falling prey to such a formless illness called Psychosis. It has similarities to Schizophrenia but not the same. Fortunately, my maternal aunt is a psychiatrist and she encouraged us to treat my mom with a local psychiatrist as soon as possible. But we were hesitant and the idea of treating symptoms related to mental health is not heard of in our family. We took a long pause and after persistent reminder from my aunt I finally booked a video consultation and started with her daily dosage of medicine which we can't stop or else my mom's sanity will be in question.

April 2021

My work colleague did a micro April fools prank on me. She said my scooter was not at the parking place but when I went downstairs and saw my scooter was there. Such an exercise inducing prank. 

Learnt to make garlic and pepper pasta
tasted like the one at eateries

Local elections in Tamil Nadu were about to begin and I was reading election manifestos of different parties and humoured myself with the fact how ridiculous the mindsets of people with power and money be like. Me and my mom went to the voting booth under the afternoon sun. People's voter ID is verified with a list they had to allow citizens to vote (basically pressing a button which we get to do once in five years). When it was our turn, I was insecure about another millionth time to be embarrassed about how they will mispronounce my name but this time it was not about my name. But my mom's name. They read my mom's name (Rajani) which suddenly reminds people of a male Tamil movie star Rajinikanth. They were giggling and were amused by it. I would too but as a mental health caregiver for my mom, it was despising to experience. Microaggressions like these do take a toll and especially feels even bad knowing the person it was directed to is having borderline lunacy and has enough suffering already.

Voted because of FOMO and the placebo effect of choosing
the party that will be ruling this city for five more years 

I guess I can say 'I got inked'
Not a tattoo but temporary remembrance of a vote

I actually came to office too early that the gate was closed
Took a stroll across the Bougainvillea filled lane in Alwarpet

Lush Bougainvillea

My dad showed me this leaf that grows roots on its edges
When these leaves are re-potted it will grow into a new plant
So many ways to propagate a plant

Carrot and chilli flakes pasta - little too soupy
Side effects of being too confident while cooking

As part of Onam, my work colleague who's a Malayali
made and served us all Ada Pradhaman and Ney Appam

 

Self-portrait and thoughts

As part of volunteering, got supplies to experiment and learn about
effects of global warming and climate change with kids

Defence colony
Nice place for morning walks

Catching up with my dad  

He took me to a path less travelled by walkers because
this area is nearby to Cooum river, which is mixed with sewage

We reached a place of worship
for the local deity called Ayyanar

Seeing Ayyanar upclose

Me and my Ayya
 (Alternate Telugu word for father)

My dad made sure to take picture of him among these
local swords called Aruval to show how tall they are

On the way back I saw at a corner of a house
a cute space with tiny window and Arrowhead plant

No idea which plant it is but looks cool

Stinking passion flower
That's the actual plant name
It didn't stink though

Went for an event where we all don't use devices for a while,
 converse, play and network at an open terrace

Blooms of Jersey lily at home

Was attending work conference online
A cordial community you can never find elsewhere

New visitor at dad's garden - A toad
Also learnt frogs and toads are not the same

Had to finish the pasta I bulk bought out of impulse
By now pasta did not feel fancy anymore
Accompanied by photobomb of my brother's foot

Our old fridge stopped working, got new one funded by my maternal aunt
So interesting how this electronic device has become essential item in 21st century

Colours of Aglaonema

Shadow play of sunset

May 2021

Suddenly like that, it was already time for Dose two for my Covid vaccine. This time it didn't feel uneasy or any severe symptoms. I almost doubted if they just injected me saline liquid for placebo effect. Later on, I received an email saying a non-fiction story I submitted in 2019 got selected to get published in a book titled "People called Chennai" but after that super silence. It's been almost three years and I received no further emails about it. I was happy to know it got selected but also disappointed there was no further info on status of it getting published even after three years of authoring it. As part of it I documented two stories from the people I know dearly living in Chennai for decades. Good thing is I have my own platform to publish stories. Adding those two essays below.

Story 1: Glimpse of my childhood at Jafferkhanpet

Narrated in Tamil by Shanthamma AKA Phakira

Compiled by Sunayana on 03 September 2019 

I was born to a Hindu household with less affluence. Before I was born, my parents had to bear the loss of three children dying after few years of their birth. Each time they prayed to different shrines but the prayer was futile. When my mother was conceived fourth time, someone suggested my parents to pray at a local Dargah (Mosque) for the baby to be with them for years to come. They prayed staunchly at the Dargah and my Amma (mother) gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I was given the name 'Phakira' suggested by people of the Dargah. As I grew older, people started calling me Pakeeramma. For some reason, I felt awkward being called with that name. After marriage I requested people to call me with my elder daughter's name Shanthi. At the places I work as a maid, people refer to me as Shanthamma.

Now about the place I was born at! Jafferkhanpet in those days which was around the 1950’s was as deserted as the barren lands you see across the highways. We never left our homes after 6 pm. There was no electricity, no TV, no mobile phone and the nearby house was kilometres away. In the evening, the place tends to get very dark and sometimes roamed by the local rowdies. You won’t believe but there were only two shops to buy groceries, one nearby the Dargah and another one at Saidapet. Now we have more than three theatres, hotels, offices, shops and everything we need in one place. We used to walk a lot to even get some water to drink. Sometimes, we used the bullock carts for long distance travel. There were no buses or much vehicles roaming around this area. The only road was the one near Kasi theatre which goes till Virugambakkam, that's all. The only nearby Hospital was at Egmore for any health-related emergencies. 

Mostly we treated illness like fever or cold with local medicine our grandparents prepared from the leaves and roots of the plants. This place was utilized for agriculture. Some parts of Jafferkhanpet were primarily used for cultivating Mango trees. The whole area was surrounded by Mango trees sprawling across till the Cooum River. Sometimes, locals used to grow small crops like brinjals, okra and green vegetables. We took the fallen wood from the Mango trees and used it as a fuel to cook our food by burning them inside the mud stoves. A long pipe is blown with air in one hand to keep the fire burning till the food gets cooked along with occasional stirring with the other hand. We drank kanji (rice gruel) and ate Koozh (Millet/ Ragi Porridge) every day. Elders ate it along with some freshly cut onion slices and green chili. Once a week if lucky we get to eat Karuvadu (fried fish marinated with spices) or Kozhi Kozhambu (spicy chicken curry). I remember urging my Appa (father) to take to me to a wedding he was about to attend, just to have a taste of different foods and especially sweets. It feels silly to think about it right now. Nowadays, you click the phone and a guy in colourful shirt from a bike delivers your favourite food at your doorstep.

Cooum was a beautiful river with a life of its own. For us, it was the main source for all our water needs. The water as so pure we used it for drinking, bathing and even for the temple rituals. After MGR Nagar came, overwhelming sewage started spewing into the Cooum and spoiled this pristine river. The ridges of the river had few large boulders to wash clothes and to bathe the cattle. During my parent's time, when the Britishers were here in Madras, the river was also extensively used as an alternative passage for people to travel in boats. There used to be a huge well nearby Cooum which was also a main source of water to drink and irrigate crops. Now it has been blocked and made into a huge Apartment. Those days the rains and the summer time used to come as predicted in accordance to the Maasams (Months) of the Hindu calendar. Unlike now, we had the joy of seeing every season in Chennai. The harvest time, the sunny days and the cold rains filled with cricket sounds and Mannvaasanai (Petrichor). 

My typical childhood was eating breakfast, going to corporation school near Muthumari Amman temple at Saidapet, coming back home, play Nondi or Urlakazhanghu vilayatu (Local children's games) with friends and sleep. I studied till third class and had to quit studying to take care of my newly born little sister. There wasn't much tourism in Madras but for most of us Marina beach has always been forever destination to visit. Sometimes, there are Kovil Thiruvizhas (grand temple celebrations) where people from nearby areas gather to pray to the god and we get to see some festive entertainments to rejoice. Little girls wore Sokka Pavadai (top and skirt) and teenage girls wore Dhavani (Half Saree) and the married women wore Sarees. Also, we wore some jewellery like glass bangles, gold earrings, nose pins and chains around the neck. No lady dared to wear pants or Chudidhar back in those days.

Nowadays, everything has changed and became very accessible. But also, it brought more than a handful of problems in the city. For example, the traffic has increased so much that it is so hard to cross the roads. So many things to do at same time and life have become complicated. We followed a simple living in our small hut built using huge stones, mud and a thatched roof made out of weaved dry coconut leaves. The ventilation was perfect and we never had mosquitoes biting us during sleep. Radio was the only new device we got introduced to after a long time and were very amused by the concept of hearing a person's voice coming out of a box. If you ask me if I would wish for current Chennai or the old Madras, I would say both. Both have their own plus points and I can't choose between them.

End of Story 1. Shanthamma has been working at our home for over 25 years. She saw me grow up from an infant to a working woman. I draw huge inspiration from her work ethic and persistence to take care of all three daughters albeit having an abusive husband who is a staunch alcoholic and a gambler. Until, this story assignment came up, I never knew what her life was like back then. Grateful to know and share this with more people to read her story on Madras in her words.

Story 2: How I met my Madras

Narrated in Telugu by my dad

Compiled by Sunayana on 03 October 2019 

It was 1983, when I came to Madras for my college education. The only language I knew back then was Telugu. I was born in Kadapa at a nursing home where the doctor who brought me to this world later suicided by slitting her throat. In fact, my birthplace is popular for gore, murders, bombs, weaponry and violence which has become a popular reference in movies. I spent my childhood at a small town called Pulivendula which was famous for forests that harboured wild tigers which reminds me, there are so many similar words in Tamil and Telugu that has totally different meanings. For example, Puli in Telugu means Tiger but in Tamil if you say Puli it either means tiger (புலி) or tamarind (புளி). Just that minute difference in the letters yet huge difference in meanings.

I stayed at a hostel nearby my college at Sterling Road. The place was filled with rich British architecture. The roads were free of traffic and the calm streets made it an ease to roam around. The environment was so serene; one can even spot mongooses roaming in the West Mambalam streets which had so many trees back then. We listened to radio music and saw movies for entertainment. There was only one theatre complex called Safire near Anna flyover. I used to go there with my friends to night shows by sneaking from the hostel. Even though for days, the same movie gets repeatedly played we would still go to watch it. Thankfully, I started to learn Tamil from the movie dialogues. The college has now become a women's college after the owner died.

After college, I moved to Triplicane which is also known as Thiruvallikeni. I stayed in an old mansion where the room rent was 70 rupees per month. Most of us started using cycles to reach our offices. I started my career as an apprentice to a company that was selling diesel generators. It was founded and owned by an aristocratic Tamil Brahmin family. There, I saw deep embodiment of cultural influence in workplaces in terms of practicing Poojai before starting something new, smearing the forehead and the machines with powders like vermilion red Kumkumam, Ash grey Vibhoothi and yellow sandalwood paste and many other rituals. Every Saturday night, my friends and I go to Marina beach to share our work life stories. After few years of working, I started my own business, got married and settled in Chennai. I had a few struggles in business, got debts and now retired for good. Having a Job is okay in

Chennai but business-wise some people cheat you and everyone should be alert about it. A four-decade lesson, I learnt the hard way over my three different business ventures. 

Infrastructure wise, OMR has now become a trendy place because of the IT companies, modern culture and other prospects which is attractive to the younger generation. In those days, OMR roads were narrow and zig zag which was super difficult to navigate. Spencer was the only shopping complex and the main landmark place was Mount Road and Broadway. Funnily, Broadway hasn’t changed much. It still has same standalone buildings, same bus depot location and same old trade practices. The place got unaffected by the modernization, I guess. I saw human rickshaws when I was a little kid and when I visited Chennai along with my dad. Can you even imagine a resort providing food and beverage for 10 rupees? The entrance fee for VGP Golden beach resort used to offer Tiffin and coffee with a beach view

at just 10 rupees. It was an affordable getaway for most of us in those days. Also, the bus ticket started from just 25 Paisa which is nowhere to be seen nowadays.

The best about this city would be it's a peaceful middle-class heaven. Compared to all the metropolitan cities the cost of living is better here. People from all over the country live here and it has rich diversity. The sad state of the city is its water and waste management system. We can clearly see its impact during the 2015 floods which was something no Chennai person can forget in their lifetime. Usually, we all see floods in movies and TV as a spectator but we never anticipated one day we would be the victim to see one for real at our home itself. But I think it was that moment where Chennai witnessed the compassion of its people. Our streets were filled with flood water where rescue boats roamed and there were helicopters that flew on the sky. There was constant support in those times of suffering. So many volunteered to provide food, basic necessities and care. Some people even reported snakes and crocodiles roamed in the houses that got flooded. 

One thing I am very fond of is Nature. I like gardening so much that I have more than 100 plants at my home. Bamboo, Coriander, Roses, Crotons, Mint, Betel, and the list goes on. The porch to my home is filled with greenery. I often reuse available items to grow plants in it. Also, I used to have pets until I was not able to maintain them at my home. The pets I had were squirrels, fishes, pigeons, parrot and love birds. We used to have a tenant that owned a blond Labrador named Krish which gave us lots of joy on all times it was at our home. The dog owners were vegetarians, so whenever we ate chicken biryani, we gave the chicken bones for Krish to chew on. I love the fried seafood made by the food hawkers of Elliot's beach. For budget Telugu movie goers like me, Casino Theatre is the go-to place. For people who are about to live in Chennai, you should prepare yourself for one huge adjustment - The climate. Chennai summer is famous for its heat and the rare monsoon season. The skin gets oily and sweaty to which you should be able to get accustomed to settle in Chennai.

End of story 2. I realised my dad saw Chennai in 80s, 90s, 2000s, 2010s and further. Immigrating from a small town to having a business in a city that talks different language from his own mother tongue takes some real strength.

Phew interlinking stories of people other than mine does have a unique perspective to it. They may not have been published in a hardcover book and I may not have become a recognised author but when I am dead my soul rests in peace for writing and sharing my thoughts out loud through these words for everyone to read, understand and maybe get evoked. Knowing this keeps me content. (Pun intended)

I was invited to facilitate an online workshop for kids
on Basic Life Support (BLS) also known as First Aid
Loved how they were curious about injuries and how to treat them

Painted random patterns on a discarded cardboard

Third work anniversary

Sun burnt leaf edges

Ants on Heliconia flower bud

Plumeria blooming at home

Checking out vines instead of whines of life

Shadow spectacle ft. leaf

Dosa and I forgot the name of the curry
Because mom made it

I had to finish it before it finishes me
Eating pasta for more than once a week was not fun

June 2021

Another core best friend of mine from college got married. This time I was invited to attend (ahem, watch) it on an online video call. Due to lockdown restrictions, she had a simple Muslim wedding at her fiancé's residence and all I was able to do was say have a great life together you two on a chat message and hurried congratulations amongst the wishes poured in from other wedding attendees. I was almost convinced that the new trend is not WFH (Work from Home) but MFH (Marry from Home). We need to anticipate all kinds of happenings of the world I guess, such as attending your best friend's wedding over a video call just like watching films on OTT.

An online form had to be submitted to Tamil Nadu Government
 to prove why I am working from office during a pandemic

Summer was never-ending

Dad grew curry leaves in his garden

I did a random Instagram AMA with Dad to share his insights about gardening
Turns out most of the plants at his garden were propagated
 from stem cuttings or seeds collected during his walks 
Gardening can be budget friendly hobby but needs patience

Old AC stopped working, got new one but it occupied more space 
Like its perpendicular to my bed and I sleep underneath it
and I was scared what if it falls on me

Head bath, music and a weekend
Good enough to keep me sane

Leaf that was bigger than my palm
Things I witness at my dad's garden

Leaf of Syngonium wendlandii

Ceriagrion coromandelianum

Sometimes burning bits of paper
into ashes can be gratifying

Attended an online mandala workshop

Looks good, isn't it?
Had no idea it takes hours to make
Now I appreciate this art more

A flower turned into something we were not sure if
it was a muskmelon or pumpkin since it was from random seeds

Had my first scooter accident, no major casualties
Bunch of scrapes and a knee bruise
Always ride carefully at water puddle filled roads

Google photos showed this photo in memories that was taken years ago
I was facilitating a quiz program for a local volunteer event
I missed being part of in-person volunteering 

July 2021

As part of my work, I was packing prizes to courier for contest winners. I had a minor doubt where to write "From" and "To" addresses and wanted to confirm which is the correct format used by Indian postal services. Till that moment, I have never sent any courier in my life and had no idea where to write it. By default, I asked a work colleague instead of search engine on where to write 'To' and 'From' addresses on the letter cover. She mockingly asked haven't I studied it in 4th class English studies and after a chuckle she cleared my doubt. After that I checked Google to be sure, turns out there is no particular strict format as long as you write both sender and recipient addresses but 'To' address needs to be in large legible text along with recipient's phone number.

The next day, she mentioned about her sharing this incident with her husband, he told her that in my working tenure, haven't I noticed where 'From' and 'To' is assigned on letter cover? It made me realise how we all think differently and assume certain menial tasks to be well known by all. The trouble of being part of Zillenial adult is my generation skipped receiving information in postal services and all the info I need is an instant message or an email or sometimes a delivery from an e-commerce site or an app. Quite a revelation for me to understand that I didn't notice tiny details like that unless I practiced it in my life or of use to me. I unconsciously ignored a learning opportunity. I wonder how many such learning opportunities we all miss over hindsight.

Online mentoring for school girls
Even though I may not know many things,
I am open to learn and share without judgement

Moth

Coexistence of plants

White rose

We started to guess it might be ash gourd

Tabby cat visited my office

The cat became a regular visitor

Simple snack
Mildly roast fox nut seeds in 1 Tsp Oil till it gets steamy
then add pinch of Turmeric + Salt

By now I saw it as the guardian of my scooter

For some it's unpleasant and opposite of clean
For me its nature's art in its own spontaneity

It's okay to eat snacks that you didn't cook
Featuring tiny Samosa and Idly shaped banana bread

My office people gave all of us
a portion of their harvest

Outing with parents

Marina beach's lighthouse & my beacon

Cloudy Marina beach
Monsoon was happening

I always wanted to try the smart bikes
that were launched in the city

Never underestimate the calmness of
cycling across the cloudy beach weather

Later went to an eating place at Mylapore,
it had this interesting 3D mural   

Poori and potato side dish

Followed by coffee in Davara

Mylapore temple visit

Temple pond

Attended an online workshop on digital art
But forgot everything I learnt

Urge to try free green tea sample
but ended up burning my tongue
Always blow over the steam and slurp

25 years of me on earth
Quarter* life crisis: People still misspell my name
(*It's okay to assume I will live a century)

Blooms of Plumeria pudica

Annual ritual: Haircut by myself
Feels rejuvenating to depart from past self in painless way

August 2021

I was having bit of hair fall and then figured out it was because of my unwashed helmet I used for couple of months. One of many things that no one taught me after getting a scooter for daily commute. If you are a newly started scooter rider like me, learn about oil change, tyre puncture, getting two-wheeler insurance, knowing nearby bike mechanic, washing your helmet at least once a week and more. Used helmets tends to be an interesting environment filled with sweat and dirt for many microbes to thrive in. Lesson, I learnt was always wash helmet once a week and cure hair fall (subject to each person's helmet usage and hair follicle condition).

Another workshop on first aid for kids
This time I was able to share how I used these skills on myself during my road accident

Checking podcast equipment at office

Visiting Semmozhi Poonga
One of the largest parks in Chennai

Butterfly mural

Moth stone sculpture

Walking underneath the vines

Guess what I was picturing?

This! Picturing palm leaves

Happiness is seeing mom
giving snacks out of intuition

Apparently, it was supposed to be a potted plant but got rooted to ground into a tree
Then, fell into the eyes of my dad who thought it was occupying space and destined to be chopped
It was disheartening for me to see it cut off but we live in a world where
structured functionality is more revered than admiring unplanned randomness that nature throws at us

Ash Gourd flower

Got this sanitiser that smells like strawberry cake
as a gift by my boss's wife from their USA trip
It smelled like bakery in a bottle 

Navarasa aka nine emotions
Watched a series and Instagram trend in that name
Tried my own version for keepsake

Teaching my brother to learn to drive scooter 

While my brother was learning, I took a stroll
and acquainted with these park visitors
A cow, a crow and a puppy

Leaves of Bauhinia

Woodpecker

Stroll companion

Chetpet Eco Park - The park with manmade lake
Who knew August is month of visiting parks for me

3D Mural

Awaiting buddy
I was about to meet my college besties there
I reached the venue too soon

Eventually we met and started
walking, talking and rejoicing

Came across a bridge and took pictures

Halted nearby to sit and catch up on our life stories

Later we visited a food truck place nearby and were
roaming around to figure out which food to eat

We had chaat and bubble tea
Unusual choice just like my friends

Office work was eventful

Thus, destressing at office 
ft. paper cutting

Garden visitor at home

Spider and its web

September 2021

Office to home and home to office what could go wrong in a routine I was well versed for over four years. Well, life can surprise you with the variety of stressors it can launch at you to realise and evoke lessons and memories out of it. One fine day after coming home from office, I had to do a voluntary online training session for school girls and was not able to find webcam, dongle and earphones that I use for work. I thought I lost them at the transit. I started believing I am reckless and have to apologise with my boss for losing office gadgets. I slept with shame and disappointed at myself for not being careful enough with expensive things that are not owned by me. Next day, I was bracing myself to admit what might have happened which is I might have lost it while riding scooter to home. I sit in my office chair and open my cabinet to find all the stuff there for which I fretted. I was glad I found it again and little alarmed that my memory seems to be fading time to time. How much stressed we get when an inanimate object gets lost, right? Less sleep can be hazardous in its own ways. I was telling about the whole episode of fear with my boss and he mentioned about the phenomena called paralysis by analysis. Quite an interesting concept.

Losing sanity

There was a mystery package delivered to office, it did not have a recipient name. My office people opened it up and saw a plastic bag filled with brownish green powder that looked like dry soil. Me and my work colleague were clueless about why someone would courier a random material to our office address without recipient name. My boss took a pinch of it, smelled and joked maybe its weed. I was just glad it was not a bomb. No idea what just happened but a break in office routine. Sometimes we witness things that might never makes sense.

Garden visitor must be thinking
'Why this human is bringing a black object (phone) near me?'

My office neighbour's house got covid. Few government workers came poked our throat and left nostril with a sterile swab in the name of RT-PCR test for precautionary measure. But we never received results afterwards. Am I positive or am I negative? Up to our imagination, I guess.

Went for a offline volunteer meet

Attended a wedding of an acquaintance

Blurred photos & state of mind

Dolls arranged to depict wedding rituals

When you know none of the guests, stare at the pretty ceiling

Made Chilli Garlic Toast
(Minced Garlic + Oil + Crushed Red chillies + Salt + Garam Masala)
An amusing comfort food

I visited a place for offline volunteering as a
menstrual health awareness facilitator for underprivileged girls
So interesting to hear how quick a taboo reaches children over reliable fact

Patterns of Fungi

One of my bucket lists is to know car driving. A tiny way to seek independence and safety via moving metal box on fossil fuel and rubber wheels. By then I have been riding a scooter in peak traffic for over a year, it gave me the courage to upgrade my driving skills. What I didn't anticipate was how complicated it is to learn. So complicated that hearing these words still scares me: seatbelt, clutch, gear, accelerator, mirror, brake, steering wheel and so many other things to look after while driving. I did get my car driving license but secretly praying for the day robotic cars are economical to use.

Driving School card

Hosted my first live interview at work

Tridax Daisy

Camouflage

Dad makes quirky pots out of everything

Went for a Cyanotype making event

Mom and the Cyanotypes
Exhibiting blues in their own way

Honey bees and coral vine

    Me and my mom did cyanotype
A photography method using chemicals, water and sunlight to create cyan coloured art

Wall murals of Chennai MRTS

A cat on the Auto
Just neighbourhood things

Miniature Doodle

Tried vegan chocolate drink
Later realised it has lots of refined oil and sugar
What sounds good may not completely be good

                                                                        October 2021

The month I realised enough is enough. I deserve a vacation with my family before I lose my mom to lunacy, dad to death and brother to his adult life. Turns out I haven't tripped with my family for a long time, and this was the only time it's possible to go out with them with the same energy and availability. Also, we were having a huge debt from dad's business decisions and antics that led to putting the house I lived in for 25 years on sale. Thus, the trip budget was really strict and had to travel locally. On top of that, wished for no travel restrictions due to any other covid variants. I had a fair look at the Tamil Nadu map and realised we never covered the southeast side of it and that's how the road trip plan evolved. We didn't prefer checking that side of Tamil Nadu as it is mostly visited for religious places of interest, beaches or historical purposes which is not widely advertised as a popular tourist destination. This trip was way different from the usual family trips I had as a child. Now, I got to pick places to visit, book hotels to stay at, apply for Fastag (RFID-based prepaid toll collection card to roam on highways without hassle) and also my dad wanted me to practice car driving on highways. Yikes, growing up can be too much responsibility. Before the trip, some other revelations happened.

I attended a random online conference about mental disorders to know more about mental health resources and support mechanisms for my mom. After a couple of talks, workshops and sessions I got to know about myself. There I confirmed my long-term doubt that I have mild Dyscalculia. It's like Dyslexia for numbers. You might be surprised by how many important things in life involves numbers: calendar, time, money, address, phone number, bills and more. In this world, one needs to be calculative but when it involves numbers one like me becomes indecisive because it messes up the brain. I remember a school time incident related to panic over numbers.

When I was in primary school there was this one classmate who liked to bully in the name of fun and entertainment. In Maths class, I was the dumb kid and everyone in my class knew when it comes to numbers I panicked. This classmate took a 10-rupee currency note and told me to have it. I said no because my mom taught me not to take money from anyone because my dad did it a lot and lost it to his business idea of harvesting prawns which was a flop. The prawns got viral infection and acres of prawns dead in a day and there went his loaned investment down the drain into heaps of debt which he repaid after a few years but this incident haunted my mom. And she made sure to scare her children about money and partially it fuelled my fear of numbers. I had a pseudo belief that anything with numbers will bring misfortune. So, when my classmate showed me, the rupee note I wanted to run away to avoid misfortune. But I was trapped inside the walls of the classroom and school timings.

A teacher noticed this and took both of us to the principal's room. She ordered me to take the 10-rupee note from my classmate. I said no, and hesitated a little but after a stern look from the teacher, I immediately grabbed the rupee note and gave it back to him as the teacher instructed. I did it mostly out of fear because I studied my early school days at a place where teachers can beat ruthlessly and use abusive language with the school children if disobeyed. He got a simple warning not to repeat this and I was made to do an activity I wanted to run away from. Weird how the mindset of teachers in those days worked that it's okay to add trauma to a child than help her out or just do their job instead of interfering in children's dumb activities and making it worse.

At the office, a new employee joined to take over the tasks of the previous person who quit to get medical attention. I got to train this new employee for the job and it was nice to see my colleague face to face. She was an extrovert so we spoke a lot about work and life. One thing I was afraid of was the office I was working for was dominated by Hindu Brahmins and this new employee was a Gen Z married Tamil Muslim girl. I ain't no saint, I had my doubts about how this might work. Will it emotionally affect her and will she also quit due to mental health reasons just like the previous person. Turns out it's subjective. She adapted to the workplace better than I thought and even after we both switched companies a few months later, we remained buddies. It's rare to meet people who are compatible in mindset and remain their true selves even when we are not liable to stay connected in each other's lives. She's one of them and I am really lucky to know such a genuine person as my friend that I can count on.

My maternal aunt (mom's elder sister) in the USA included my family in their special puja called Chandi Yaagam for our wellbeing. It involves powerful chants that signify the supreme feminine deities of Hinduism. An expensive puja as in it costs above 50k and is executed by many Hindu Priests using auspicious materials for days. We get to view it live via video call or as a recording to watch later. Quite a fascinating experience to wake up early morning and watch people do rituals and prayers on behalf of our family's well-being from across the world. I was perplexed by this gesture but I count the blessings that come my way in various forms in this world. Even when it's confusing to understand such curious cases of this world and its mysterious ways of keeping us connected.

Plumeria buds

I published about my 2020
It's also a long blog like this one

On a work errand to duplicate the office cabinet key
Who knew duplicate key can be made in an hour using a machine
We always learn something new

Went out for plantation volunteering with dad
It was early morning so we were hungry.
He had tea and I had Vada

Skies of Thiruvanmiyur

We met a buddy there

Dad and me
Masked, vaccinated and ready to plant some trees

Two elusive things
Dad at peace and city forest in abundance 

They gave us rubber gloves for racking topsoil

Later checked the beachside
Filled with blooms of Tunera

After all the racking, potting and planting
Treated ourselves on a mini tiffin

I never knew I would be doing a tutorial document
for Instagram live as part of work
A few months back I was not even using this app that actively

Offline meet-up with local volunteers of the org I was working at
We met at a fancy cafe filled with books and dish names I never knew before
This chicken dish, in particular, sounded different and looked scrumptious
But the taste was meh, dried oregano helped but still meh
Sometimes not all you hear and see will be great as we think

Made it after watching a trending Korean drama
This Origami game toy is known as Ddakji

And like that, it was time for the trip
Picked clothes to pack
(Not all of them, Just the ones for a week)

One final look at the itinerary

I missed being invited to Golus on Navrathri  
It's that time of year when people arrange dolls in
steps or diorama to depict daily life and mythologies
Used those holidays for a road trip, so no regrets

After all this, the trip finally started. We toured in a second-hand yellow Nano car that my dad bought for 50k rupees. It's not the best car as many functions are old and rusted, but he thinks it's useful for my car driving practice. My dad was telling us that he started driving at the age of 10 in his village in Andhra. I was counting how my dad is 60-year-old and that would mean he has 50 years of driving experience. He has driven lorry, tractor, buses, cars, and bikes, and joked that the only vehicles he doesn't know to drive are planes, trains and cruise ships. 

Day 1: Adios Chennai

Quick pit stop at Pondicherry

In search of a good restaurant for breakfast

   Had food and now time to hit the road
Apparently, this iconic Pondicherry's landmark is now demolished for road widening

The "L" sign because my dad believed I would drive
I did drive for a while but not a lot
Lot of crazy people out there with access to such a powerful machine that can kill

Ah the beautiful trees and meadows
with the scorching sun in October
Only on south-east side of Tamil Nadu

Reached Pitchavaram Mangrove Forest
Lots of twists and turns but reached

Tourists visit this place via boating

So much sunshine, thank goodness for the umbrella
And that's my brother and dad in life jackets ready to sail 

You can visit the forest by row boat or motor boat
We opted for a row boat and enjoy the scenery at a slow pace

No, none of us knows to row a boat
A local person who can row takes the tourists around

Brackish waters

Where there is sun, there is sweat but the breeze and ripples made it pleasant
We saw a couple of local fisherwomen collecting fish while walking in these waters at neck deep level
Looking at them we soon realised how comfy our lives were

Looking at mangrove up-close

Passage covered with Mangrove tree branches

After roaming around a bit, the rowboat guy will tell you if you pay extra, I can take you further
As a tourist who has travelled kilometres to visit this place we succumb, pay and then realise it was nothing different than what we saw earlier, same Mangrove branches but more time on the boat

End of touring the world's second largest mangrove forest

One final look at it

Bye Pitchavaram

My dad wanted to try seafood-based lunch near Pitchavaram
We ate squid fry, potato fry, crab curry, fish curry, rice and curd
No proper picture because too hungry to take one

Glistening farmlands

The journey was not all sunshine though, something went wrong with our car. On day one of the trip beginning to feel shaky. We noticed the front wheels were slightly going towards left and constantly had to steer to the centre to avoid hitting opposite vehicles or not falling off the steep roadside. Chidambaram was 10 km away, I suggested going there, repair the car and then resume. But my dad was adamant to reach Karaikal as that was the next destination and Chidambaram was our last destination to cover. Karaikal was like 80 km away. He likes to stick to a plan no matter what, he said I was talking negatively for suggesting that it can mess up the plan of covering all places to visit. We tried to see if we can find a car repair shop on the way but all were closed for Ayudha Pooja, a day of worship for work tools, offer prayers and not use them for a day. So, most workplaces were on leave. The day was getting dark and I was frantically hoping for us to reach the place to stay without getting stranded in the middle of nowhere. We somehow reached the homestay that we booked in Karaikal. Dad took the car to a nearby repair place and told us it might take a day or two to repair it. After all that meticulous planning, life found a way to surprise us in this tour in the form of car repair. I did anticipate it though as the car is an old one. The good thing was we had extra days we didn't use for the trip to accustom to sudden changes of plans. We went to a restaurant to eat at night, and the tiles felt slippery, I blurted out about it and my dad said in a frustrated tone 'don't talk so discouragingly'. Hearing it, I felt bad for not being able to share my discomfort out loud. But didn't realise he was more worried about the car repair at that time.

The next day morning happened; the owner gave us coffee in a flask. After drinking the coffee, I went downstairs to give her back the flask and we had a short chatter about each other's lives. She's a retired school teacher who shares the first floor of her home for people to stay and earn income from it. Quite enthralling to meet older women still active to earn even after retirement. Travel always makes us realise such newness in the ever-expanding world out there.

Day 2: Coffee at Karaikal

The car was still in the repair state. The Karaikal bus depot was a walkable distance from the place we were staying. So, conveniently took the local bus for our next destination - Thirunallar. This place is very small but has a locally famous temple for the Hindu deity Saneeswaran/ Shani. It is believed this deity personifies planet Saturn and prayers are done to remove any ill effects caused due to Saturn positioned in one's astrology. It's not convincing for me to believe how a planet can be seen as evil. An idea of ritual is invented to increase footfall to a place in the name of warding off bad luck. One ritual that I found intriguing was, that any person who visits this place should not bring back anything from there as it will carry misfortune. Many temple visitors like to follow it religiously that they stay overnight, sometimes even leaving the clothes and jewellery they are wearing here to not carry back evil stuff out of it. People visit to ward off evil stuff, but anything taken from this place can cause bad stuff too. It's complicated like that. I was not really crazy about visiting it but after all the misfortunes my family went through my dad thought let's give this a shot for a last chance of luck. 

Paintings of mythological stories
at the Thirunallar temple ceiling

Temple elephant
No idea why we keep wild animals in confined spaces
instead of letting them be in their natural habitats

Stone pathways and pillars 

Metal entrance door etched
with idols and symbolism

Temple pond

Finished visiting the temple

After visiting this temple, we went to the bus stop and waited for a long time to reach our next destination. Since it's a small town, the transport frequency is even smaller. After a long wait, a bus came up we all boarded back to Karaikal. Me, my mom and my brother took another bus to visit Tharangambadi since we have no idea if the car will get repaired by then. Dad didn't join as he believed if he waits at the car repair place and stare at them, the repair process magically speeds up. Also, he has already visited Tharagambadi before, during his visits to Karaikal to meet his nephew/ my paternal cousin who used to live here for his college studies. My brother wanted to stay in the room and chill but we made sure he joined us after a long annoyance of rather wasting energy in visiting Tharangambadi than arguing with us. I have to admit never opt for walking in the summer sun of the tropics to visit places that were supposed to be covered on a road trip via vehicle. By the end of visiting this place, we were all soaked in sweat and dehydrated to the core. 

Tranquebar walk

Witnessing goats

Crossing water bridge

Goat witnessing us

Tharangambadi tourist map

Fancy architecture

Tranquebar town gate

Church and tombs

Another church around the corner

Maritime Museum

Danish artifacts

Catamaran

Random relics

Coins and brassware

Clay and ceramics

Bones

Medallions

Dolphine bone

Artifacts for sale

Toys and tools

Ancient dolls

Colonial house

Fort Dansborg - World's second largest Danish fort
We didn't know it was closed for visitors on Friday, so couldn't check it out
as per the original plan we were supposed to visit it on Saturday

Tharagambadi beach
Also known as the land of singing waves

All that walking under the sun made me tired and poor at navigation
I actually reached a dead end instead of the bus stop, my mom and brother were furious
But met this cute little goat at the dead end so no regrets

Eventually found our way back to the bus stop. One has to have great penance to wait for buses in towns. I realized how lucky to be avail of city buses in Chennai that arrive within 30 to 60 minutes. We waited in the afternoon heat, and we started to even see mirages. Finally, a bus came into sight, it was an AC bus. We got into the AC bus to reach Karaikal, and I never knew having cool air vents soothing our almost toasted heads is what we needed so badly. Blessings in disguise like this make us appreciate good things in life. We had lunch at Karaikal and came back to the room. I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get to visit the fort. Had a small talk with the homestay lady again. She mentioned how it is nothing but a wall and the place is filled with bat smell. In the school, she worked at they used to take children there on an annual school tour to show them around. I still felt like missing out on not being able to visit it but sometimes we need to accept our circle of possibility.

We chose to take day three slow. The car was also yet to be repaired. After that walking under the sun episode, we needed some time to recuperate energy. Cranked up the AC, watched cartoons on the TV, and had restaurant food in the room. Almost like an impromptu staycation. I was a bit anxious at first to waste travel time on relaxing instead of visiting places but it helped. Sometimes life indicates when to pause, take a break, and resume.

Day 3: Relaxing with anxiety

We almost became regular people
to this Lassi shop near our room

My anxiety grew and started to overthink if this is all the list of places that will be covered. Almost thought sometimes we should aspire for less so there will be no stress. Until my dad came back with the news car got repaired and all that stress got mutated to okay now when do we start. He said all the next places as per plan can be visited in few hours so we can take rest at room for a while. I obliged but inside I was panicking about what other uncertainties might happen in the meantime like rain, lockdown, earthquake, asteroid attack and more such unusual situations that my mind is capable of suggesting. But eventually, we began going out as dawn turned to dusk.

Boats of Karaikal

Minaret at Nagapattinam

Nagore Dargah

Footwear token

Shiny ceilings

    Symbolic motifs

The dargah almost has a bazaar environment. There are small shops to buy souvenirs, items of religious significance, and other items for visitors. It consists of passages to different rooms, for men and women separately. We had to wash our feet under the water tap before entering. The religious offering given here is small steel tumbler filled with water. I found it interesting. After the Dargah visit, mom and I met my dad and my brother outside and purchased some sweets and snacks. My dad was particularly in awe of one particular food item which is a Prawn Vada, a savoury round shaped seafood fritter made on spot and sold by street vendors. He still thinks the 5-rupee rate for seafood snack is unbelievable in this age and time.

5 rupees prawn vada

Enroute to Velankanni

Velankanni church

Pilgrimage of the idol of worship

Velankanni beach

We finished visiting most of the places as per plan even though it was in jumbled order. Helped me realize it's okay to adapt to changes but never lose hope. At Velankanni, my dad and brother went to pick up the car from the parking area which was way away from the main church. Till then, mom and I were sitting and watching the crowd roaming around. My mom confessed she is hearing people's inner thoughts, she asked me if I am not able to hear it. She showed how they murmur, with half curved palm to their mouth to other's ear like gossiping. She also shared that she hears my dead paternal relatives telling in meek noises that they own lands in Nagore and Karaikal and now they are annexed by some other people who are residing there now. So many audio delusions in a brief time. I was glad at least she shared about it and can reduce the burden of hearing it all alone. On the journey of visiting places of three different faiths, unravelled my mom to speak about what she is experiencing in her mind. I have a tiny pseudo-belief this travel helped her in some way, even though she was struggling throughout the tour with knee pain and paranoia.

Conversation with mom

Next day woke early, packed our bags, and left Karaikal for our next destination. We navigated 3-hour long journey from Karaikal to Thanjavur using map app in my phone. I was particularly interested to visit it for its significance with Chola Dynasty that inspired a cult favourite Tamil literary work. And the name Thanjavur or Tanjore itself has been affiliated to art style in paintings, dolls, oil lamps and more.

Day 4: Driving towards Tanjore

Suddenly a happy thought came up that everything is now going as per plan. But you know how life can tumble the steadiness of happy times. The car went on so many speed bumps that on one such speed bump, the car really shook a lot and the cover of rear end red light above my head falls on my face. No serious injury but kind of a sign to experience anything to certain level that the randomness of events allows us to experience be it good or bad in equal amounts.

Bumpy ride but beautiful fields

Mini tiffin for breakfast
Idly, Masala Dosa, Pongal, Poori, Kesari, Sambhar, Coffee
Pudhina chutney, Tomato chutney, Coconut chutney, and Poori masala

After a yum breakfast, we hurried to visit the iconic big temple of Thanjavur. It is one of the UNESCO heritage sites with protected sculptures, paintings and heritage items belonging to Chola kingdom. A spectacle to see architecture and art forms that were created over thousand years back. Almost like visiting a place in time capsule.

Grandeur of Thanjavur

Dravidian architecture

Map of Brihadeeshwara temple
Also known as the Thanjai Periya Kovil
which means the big temple of Thanjai

Popular mugshot of this temple

Ancient inscriptions

Gopurams

Intricately carved pillars

Murals on the ceiling

Enroute to Maratha palace

Colour block ceilings

Map of Maratha palace

The place I loved the most in the Maratha palace was Saraswathi Mahal Library, one of the oldest libraries in Asia. At first, I thought it must be a place filled with old books and manuscripts. To my surprise it's almost a mini museum with invaluable antique items for learning. The Maratha king at that time ardently collected stuff in varied genres such as art, music, drama, medicine, astronomy, architecture, religion, literature and more to be used as personal collection of references to grow knowledge within the royal family. The list of items was lot to remember and there is a rule for visitors not allowed to take pictures inside the library. One item that caught my eye was the book with drawings related to physiognomy, the depiction of how a human face can be similar to particular animal was so realistic yet felt awkward that this pseudoscientific resource which is related to eugenics was a reference material in that library. 

Bell tower

Arsenal tower

Baleen whale skeleton kept inside the palace

Embossed ceilings

Maratha king's statue

Metal collections

Eccentric colours

Ornate delight

Ceiling of Durbar Hall

Passages

Milestone

We finished visiting the famous temple and palace of Thanjavur. I had Kumbakonam as next place to visit in the itinerary but my dad was bit hesitant as we were not sure we might reach Chidambaram on time to find hotel to stay at. He did mention if we have enough time will visit it. On the way at a small food shack, we had South Indian meals as lunch. It involves banana leaf to be used as plate with lots of rice accompanied by curry, rasam, sambhar, curd, papad and pickle. The lady who served food told me to eat more because I looked frail it seems. Meh, when will the world get rid of unsolicited advice especially while eating. Back to car ride, luckily, we had enough time to visit the place I wanted to see at Kumbakonam. It's away from the inner town and was less crowded. 

Airawateshwara temple, Darasuram
Place I wanted to visit in Kumbakonam

We were little tired from all the roaming in Thanjavur and it was rejuvenating to cross the entrance surrounded by rain water at this temple. Sometimes a gift in life will be in the form of immersing tired feet in cold water at a heritage site.

The rain water surrounding the entrance

Dad watching tadpoles at the entrance

Mom exploring the place

Grass filled stone alley
Path less travelled

Chiseled design

Ceiling art

Symmetrical pillars

Sunset at
Annaikarai Dam at Kollidam River
Enroute to Chidambaram

Finally reached the last destination of the trip: Chidambaram. We were not sure if there will be time to cover this place so didn't prebook a place to stay. Evening was turning into night. Relief of reaching segued into frantic search for safe place to sleep. After few minutes we found a place, unloaded luggage, went for dinner and then slept like a sloth till it became day 5 of the trip.

Day 5: Thillai Nataraja temple

North side gopuram entrance
This temple has entrance on all four directions

Inside north side gopuram entrance

Sculpted with 108 dance forms

Painted ceilings

Temple pond

Unusual bird

After roaming around the temple, we sat near the pond, took some rest and began our car ride back to home: Chennai. My dad's friend told him it would take a long time to complete visiting this temple but since we arrived after major Hindu festival holidays and visited in the morning, there was less crowd and we were able to complete visiting this place sooner than we thought.

9 places, 5 Days and a road trip
Was so happy in a hurry I miswrote Tranvancore instead of Tranquebar on social media post

Some souvenirs are just a picture taken by dad
while driving the car on the highway for the first time
FYI, I was not driving with my eyes closed

The best part of the trip: Walking in water

Back to office routine

My former colleague treated us
with Pizza for her farewell

Got these goodies for facilitating
online workshop on Self promotion

Amusing myself with social media filters
If getting older was this good

Offline volunteering after ages
Mentor for school students on life skills

November 2021

Diwali Legiyam/ Marundhu/ Chooranam
The green edible item is given along with sweets, consumed for its medicinal purpose

Monsoon mushrooms

Dead unusual bug

Auspicious thread from the expensive pooja
 sponsored by my maternal aunt

Boredom led me to pooja room

Visiting my Ammamma in Andhra

Ammama's garden

Parijatham flower

Guava

Kanakambaram flowers

Green patches

Jatropha flowers

Yellow roses

Jasmine flowers

Bus ride back to Chennai

Welcomed by two shiny eyes at home

Turns out it was a cat

Incessant rains

Harvested bananas gifted to us at office

Cat and paw prints

Watercolour Mandala

Vividness of finishing an art piece

November was bit heart-wrenching. My dad incurred a huge loss due to his vegetable shop business that he ran without any proper guidance or strategy, which led to debt, and even actions that made him regret in future. One such action is he took too many loans that his credit score was low. He co-jointly took a loan from a bank with a guy and with our land in Chennai as collateral and my dad paid his dues but that guy absconded with the money and our land was lost to the bank. Another action of fate is he signed a random document without reading what is written with promise of bank loan by a sly lawyer with 1st floor of our house as collateral but they forged his signature dwindled money from a bank and when asked made a lawsuit against my dad for taking money from them and not paying back the money which was never taken in attempt to capture our home. They were people with political influence and who even did ruckus at our home that honestly scared all of us. All this led my dad to take a decision of selling our home in secret because he feared they might occupy it by force and to relieve from useless lawsuit with false allegations. 

I don't know the full story because my dad is a person who never admits mistakes and anything that is related to it. I even don't know if my dad's side of this story was the truest one. I inferred this from grapevine from bits and pieces of info from my mom and others. The only thing I knew for sure is in November 2021 a seller was found recommended by a local grocery store guy (ironically) and they bought the house and told us to evacuate as soon as possible from the place I lived for over 25 years. A place given by my paternal grandparent is now sold for a reason/ mistake that was never made by me or my brother or my mom but affected all of us. Imagine hearing all of this in a month, my dopamine hit rock bottom. And it's not even fictional, I live in this story that had obscure consequences compared to the usual lives out there. It's not a great feeling to be homeless. Be extremely wary of your social circle and their sly help, always read the damn document before signing and never try to do a business in know-it-all attitude. Most importantly stop making dumb decisions in hunger to get fame and more money.

Good bye to the home that I knew for over 25 years
The even sadder part is now it's demolished

Found this piece of advice that helped my grief

One thing that remained with me over years

Trivial things like I will miss this bug happened

Making the most out of the finite time at this house

December 2021

One fine day at 3 AM, I was in a deep sleep and my mom chose to rub vaporising balm on my nose and ruined my sleep. No idea why she does that but it's been a random practice for her during monsoon season. Motherly instinct gone wrong. Mom's another appointment with psychiatrist recommended us to do a blood test for mom and check if there are any abnormalities. My mom was stubborn and wanted to avoid going to a medical lab. Maybe it's the fear of unknown or simply the idea of unnecessary needle piercing to prove healthy. Found a newspaper advertisement on blood test booking through an app and convinced her to try that. It was our first time seeing a phlebotomist arrive in a bike to our home, open a box similar to food delivery people, unpacking stuff like syringe, cotton and test tube looking blood sample collecting thing called vacutainer. The process took few minutes and we got the results online. Some claim this service might not be legit as it depends on storage conditions and when the sample collected arrives at the lab for testing but it was fascinating to witness and my mom did a normal health check-up so the accuracy was not a concern.

Next day, went to office with lots of power cuts and finally saw sparks burst out where my laptop charger was plugged in. RIP laptop charger. I was feeling weak, body aches and this happened. I thought it was remorse over saying goodbye to the home that nurtured my childhood, teenage and more. Was bit glad there won't be any more surprises for the day but being a girl always expect probability of the red monthly visitor. I got my periods and there is no menstrual pad at office. Being a working adult means dealing with unpredictable situations in different angles. With all this ruckus, came home forced to pack over hundreds of stuffs at the home and move to a new rental place till we find permanent residence. Is this how life works? Either all at same time or none.

When your family has hoarded things for over 25+ years, it's pretty tuff to pack them into a bag within few hours. My dad was paranoid, made us pack everything and move out of this house at once. It was not easy to see him throw stuff with sentimental value into large pile of bags without care or consideration. Being materialistic may not be seen as a good sign but I admire objects especially the ones that evoke memories. Imagine an activity to choose and segregate hundreds of personal belongings to keep and to throw away in trash within matter of minutes. I found it very hard but it was done. Thank God the other half of the items I love are in the form of photos and text stored in my phone.

Next morning, at 4 AM we all woke up as if we are going to miss a plane at airport. Waited for the lorry to come, pick and transfer the piles of stuff, furniture and home appliances to new rental place. The lorry people were taking their sweet time for the drizzle to stop and my dad's anxiety was sky rocketing. Somehow reached the rental place and guess what. The drunk bachelor neighbours started a fight with lorry people about occupying 20% of space near their entrance on a Sunday. And my dad didn't try to stop this fight or be silent. He started recording videos of the situation as if he was recording a major sports league match. My dad does crazy things when he has lost his fear zone. The fight calmed down after a while. I was supposed to go for a volunteering event but with all these stressors unconsciously I locked my scooter seat with key inside and I don't even have a duplicate key for it. In panic called my dad and he arranged for people who does duplicate keys. I couldn't believe the guy created the duplicate key without any reference within few hours. I felt no scooter is safe from getting stolen from.

Kms run reading forever stuck to 290000 in my scooter
Things you notice when you wait for duplicate key

We unravelled absolute essentials such as food, clothes, bath and cooking items to use. Since our plan was to search and buy a new permanent home so assumed it will be best to not unpack all the stuff. Morning became evening, house was built in an area that it is surrounded by tall buildings and trees that blocked the cell phone signals. So, there was no mobile network and internet. We had to come to road for phone calls. For next few days till the Wi-Fi router is fixed, the only pass time was sleep, radio, food, watching the sky and other non-tech related activities. While lying in the bed, there was this thought why I like internet status and social media so much, it's like a platter of people's thoughts in multimedia to experience. I also had this sudden wild thought that I have got all the house things except the house which reminded me of the wild thought experiment/paradox called Ship of Theseus. It talks about whether an object that has had all of its original components replaced remains the same object. I guess I think too deep when there is lots of time to spare.

Shifted to the rental place

Watching sky at open terrace

Boredom at office
Making tiny paper boats from old receipts

Volunteered for a nutrition and health fest for school children organised by a local NGO. It included nutrition games, cooking competition, consulting with nutritionist, and an interactive presentation about nutrients, food pyramid, exercise and sleep. I learnt why this event is need of the hour as nourishment is a core issue for kids from lower economic backgrounds and how that might be linked to healthy future generation. It was really fun to spend time with kids. I love how they are unafraid to share ideas and ask questions to co-learn.

Thank god for this event poster in front of the school
North Madras streets were unfamiliar to me

Volunteer card

When to eat food

Foods to eat more and foods to eat in moderation

Food Pyramid game

Snacks shop roleplay game

Kids enjoying physiotherapy session

Parents were asked to recall what they learnt

Feedback corner

Stoked to know I trained
over 100 people within a year

School yearbook
Found it while doing another round of things to keep and things to toss away

Mom's broken heirloom jewellery melted into this tiny gold spot
It is weighed and a gift voucher is given to buy new gold jewellery

New diary from office

Ended up writing my name in different languages

Arranged stuff I like on steel almirah
Mom immediately asked me to take it down
Because we were yet to find permanent residence

I can't believe I actually finished this even when I was in panic state of almost becoming homeless, jobless, laptop less, Covid and a family fuelled with fear. In my terms, that's literally life of a living corpse. It was hard to process what 2021 gave me. But writing it down helped me to understand one major drawback of the year cannot define how it went. There were some moments which made it worthwhile. I hope when you look back in your 2021 memories it will look different now. Cherish or learn from it. Till then catch you with another blog on my 2022 where I got new job and home. But a new worry from my parents: The marital persuasion (& from the extended relatives who I have no idea about).

The bonus part of my 2021:

11 Places I went: Pondicherry, Pitchavaram, Karaikal, Tharagambadi, Tirunallar, Nagore, Velankanni, Thanjavur, Kumbakonam, Chidambaram, Madanapalle 

And the 24 places I visited in Chennai: Adyar Eco Park, Besant nagar beach, Forum Vijaya mall, Mylapore, Natesan Park, Alandur corporation park, Teynampet, Chromepet, Ashok Nagar, Burma Colony, Ekkatuthangal, Defence Colony, Marina Beach, Semmozhi Poonga, Thyagaraya Nagar, Chetpet Eco park, Vanagaram, Ashok Nagar, KK Nagar, Jafferkhanpet, Roja Muthiah Research Library, Kalashetra Foundation, Taramani, Royapuram

4 Books I read: The four agreements, Kind of Hindu, Steal like an artist, Show your work

132 Movies & Series I saw: Secretly Greatly, Unpaused, Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs, Soul, Minari, Maara, Dr, Bird's Advice for Poets, History of Swear Words, The Great Indian Kitchen, Swades, The White Tiger, Move the Grave, Mard ko dard nahin hota, Radium girls, Seven stages To acheive eternal bliss by passing through the gateway chosen by the holy storsh , Bliss, I care a lot, The map of tiny perfect things, Drishyam 2, Cursed films, Visible on Television, Pitta Kathalu, Raya the last dargon, Space Moms, Wanda Vision, Space Sweepers, Persona, Jathi Rathnalu, Some kind of heaven, Cooku with comali, Worn stories, Arlo the alligator boy, Sreekaram, Liyana, Searching for Sheela, Seaspiracy, Crip camp, Phillauri, Generation hustle, Karnan, Kim Ji Yong Born 1982, What I hear when you say, Moxie, Room, Go back to China, Little big master, Pagglait, Shrill, Alma Matters, Kajillionaire, Churails, Ninnila Ninnila, Cruella, Vitamania, Mandela, Pride, Kiki's delivery service, Fatherhood, Luca, Wakakozake, Jagame thandhiram, Good on paper, Jamun, Zindegi na milei dobara, The politician, The bold type, Tolet, Mahanati, Midsommar, Ek mini katha, Tumhari Sulu, Guvva gorinka, In this corner of the world, I'm Fine (thanks for asking), Gunpowder milkshake, All the bright places, Sarpatta Parambarai, The great, Mimi, Ajeeb daastaans, Dead to me, The way of the househusband, Fully realised humans, Jungle cruise, Nava rasa, Dominion, Like father like son, Profile, Seven worlds one planet, Feels like ishq, The conjuring 1, The conjuring 2, The conjuring 3, Shershaah, A whiskar away, Lilly topples the world, #Home, Sisters with transistors, Anand, Gunjan Saxena, Lularisch, Mumbai diaries 26/11, Old, Annabelle sethupathi, The influencer, Ayyappanum koshiyum, Godavari, Free guy, Squid Game, Stree, Neelakasham pachakadal chuvanna bhoomi, House of secrets, Jane, Love story, Oh manapenne, Most eligible bachelor, Jai bhim, Chaavu kaburu challaga, Doctor, The miseducation of Bindu, Yennanga sir unga sattam, Safety not guaranteed, The colour room, Ashley jones is perfectly normal, Kaalam maari pochu, Maanadu, Kurup, Meenakshi Sundareshwar, Decoupled, Encanto, Minnal Murali